Wednesday, September 18, 2013

A Divorce Tale: When Your Teen Daughter Modifies Her Custody Agreement

Once again, we're in transition. My daughter, D3, has decided to modify her custody agreement by moving home for good. I am over-joyed to say the very, very least! Up to this point, she has lived a shared custody agreement. On paper, it's been 50/50. In reality, it's something else. If you're divorced or a step-parent, you know what I'm talking about.

I am proud of D3. She has found her voice. She has found her strength. I understand all too well how difficult her father can be and how scary it must have been for her to broach the subject with her father. Apparently, after the short conversation, he said nothing. She could tell he was mad (most likely hurt). He immediately dropped her off at my home. That was it.

Years ago, my girlfriends who grew up in divorced families all predicted this would happen. They have lived D3's life and collectively agreed one home in high school was best for both them and the custodial parent. They only had to check in with one parent, and didn't have to consult a custody schedule to make social plans with friends. Moreover, they confessed it was harder to get away with teen nonsense. They found they couldn't play each parent off one another or find a way to "slip through the cracks" to go out with friends when one parent said "no". In hindsight, all my girlfriends agreed one home in high school was for the best. 

According to D3, nothing specific has lead to her decision. She simply want all her "stuff" under one roof. She has been living the life a nomad...packing and unpacking...constantly. Who can blame her for wanting to live in one place? 

I'm so excited to have her home...all the time!!!


  1. Hi! Just wanted to let you know I made it here! Thanks for the invitation!


  2. I went week to week with my divorced parents all the way through junior year and it really took a toll on my anxiety levels from never having stability. I'm glad my mom let me move in with my stepmom in high school. Such a relief in my life! Good for D3!

  3. Glad she took the bull by the horns and made the decision.

  4. So happy for you and your daughter for being able to make this next step...

  5. Oh, this makes me nervous. I'm glad for your daughter, but dh of 14 years just moved out. Our son isn't talking yet (literally, he's not yet two), but I'm already playing all the what if games in my head. My big hope is that he's waffling about the separation, so maybe we'll never make it to divorce. Time will tell...


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