Sunday, September 22, 2013

Romance in a Second Marriage

**Originally written June, 2012**

The notion of romance in my thirties and forties is very different from the romance of my twenties.

In my twenties and in my first marriage, romance was a grand gesture. I was proposed to in front of 325 people. In my thirties, with Hubs, there really was no proposal. This was the second marriage for each of us. We both had children we had to put first and our relationship was second behind their well-being. Instead of a proposal, in the office bedroom of his house with the door closed and our children screaming like monkeys at the zoo just outside the closed door, we made an agreement. 

We agreed to marry, to create a stable environment for our young children, to build a life together, to build a relationship which would withstand life's hardships, to care for each other, nurture each other, forgive each other, support one another, appreciate each other, love each other, and be each other's best friend... and indeed, Hubs IS MY BEST FRIEND.

Having both experienced the feeling of a disintegrating marital relationship, we recognize the easy pitfalls spouses fall into. Even though he's never said as much, he realizes he spends much more of his time on the job than the majority of husbands and he actively works to make up for his absence. Simply put, he spoils me rotten.

I can't name any of my friends who receive weekly flowers, dinners out, and the same level of support from their husbands as I do. Very rarely, do I get any grief from Hubs for any of my decisions.  Who else receives such gorgeous gifts for every gifting occasion? And my ultimate favorite... who else writes such wonderful cards, expressing his love for me, our children, our family, and displays such a sense of gratitude for any and all my efforts? I don't think I will ever find a husband who would send his M-I-L a card on Mother's Day expressing his gratitude to her for birthing his wife and raising her to be the perfect fit for him.

I suppose I could write of the romantic trips we've experienced together, trips to the beach, concerts, breakfasts in bed, or other events in our life, but I really think it's the little things which he does for me time and time again... the cup of coffee he brings up to me while I'm just getting up or in the shower, laughing at my stupid jokes, allowing me to laugh at him, allowing me the freedom to just be me.

While I sometimes wrinkle my nose at the hours Hubs works, or the phone calls and emails he fields in our presence, I honor and support his work. It is his passion, and makes him happy and I want him to be happy, I want  him to laugh. I can only hope Hubs feels my love, just as much as I feel his.

1 comment:

  1. AWW! I still think that's romantic. Give me a guy who's gonna support me every step of the way and that is SO much more romantic to me than flashy proposals or what-have-you :)


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